Letting Go

When was the last time you were truly bored? As adults most of us are way to busy to be understimulated each day, but when you are my daughters age you can find a lot of nothing to do real quick. Its not even summer and school is not even out and Emma, all of a sudden has nothing to keep her mind going. Lincoln on the other hand has plenty of things to keep him stimulated, and with this part of his treatment on steroids, its all or nothing to keep him from having a meltdown.

Tonight we went to the nearby shopping area, for the fourth time today, to get Lincoln something that would turn his bath water colorful. We knew it would not go well because he would start picking up things he liked that cost too much money, and would start tearing up if he knew we were even suggesting that he could not get it. We made it out of the store with only 3 more items than we came for and tonight we are spending the rest of the holiday watching our new kids movies.

This weekend was great for me because I actually had a chance to slow down to the point of nearly being bored. I worked on my backyard project in hopes of completeing it, but I made a few changes and finished about half of it. We went across the street to Grandmas for lunch and Lincoln wanted to take a bath in the big bath tub. While we were still eating lunch he went into the bathroom and waited patiently, which was a miracle in itself. After a while I went to see that he had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor. I still had some energy so I went to mow the grass and later went back to my house by myself. I had a little time to watch tv and lay on the couch and then it happened. For the first time since I was a teenager, I was bored.

Somedays it seems that the only content in life it to remain stimulated through whatever we can find to fight the feeling that there is nothing to do. I see those things in people all the time, in the things they do and say, in the things they put into their bodies and take out with their bodies. These things that stimulate us are not the things that always fulfill our purpose in life and they can become harmful if they remain unchecked. One of the greatest "feelings" you can ever have is when you relinquish and let go of those desires that seem all to often to consume you. Trust me, even when it seems the world is against you, giving up and giving in, not to your desires, but to the needs of another can be your saving grace.

Lincoln's Journey 11 Months Later

This week Lincoln had to take steroids as part of his chemotherapy. He did very well and ate a lot and is feeling about as good as a 3 year old can feel. He is going on 11 months since cancer attacked his blood and made him sick to his tummy. Tonight he is playing on the window sill with all of his army men and wearing his Cars pjs. He is talking more and more like an adult, but yesterday day said something about his "Super nake" He make the s sound for super but not snake =) I still wish everday we could go outside or somewhere that he could have some fun but we are so close to long term maintence when we will not see his blood count drop into the risky numbers when he could get real sick. We are looking forward to the 4th of July this year when we can sit in our front yard and watch all of the fireworks in the neighborhood instead of from the hospital like last year. Memorial Day is coming soon which is the one day I know I can break away from work and just be with the family. I am also working on a back yard project that I hope to have done before the 4th of July. Its another short night after working 11 hours so that is all for now, good night. Please take a look at my new page where I will share all of my favorite things with my friends @ http://www.facebook.com/briansphirstblog

Cure Found

Tonight is a big night for me. I have been looking forward to this night for two years since the last time I got to go to this event. It all began here for me and its not always about Gold, but colors like Red, Green, Blue and most definitly Black. Tonight is the fundraiser that will begin with a poker tournament and end with a cure for cystic fibrosis.

Long before my son was even thought of, the first grandchild to my parents was born. He grew up as the most adorable little boy I had ever seen, but from before birth he was already fighting for his life. After one year my nephew Conner was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Tonight we will honor his fight to the finish and we will continue to search for a cure for this life threatening illness. I love playing cards and the only time I put money on the line is when it will go to charity for kids who fight for their lives. Tonight as we honor those who fight and who have fought, we will go All In against CF hoping one day that will stand for Cure Found. Also as one fighing cancer for my son and many others, I will be dreaming of the day I can host a 500 person tournament to raise money that will go directly to childrens cancer research. There are so many ways to raise money, but when you put some competition into it like a large stack of poker chips, you can count on that money being raised for kids. If anyone has any ideas or a place that we can make this tournament happen for Lincoln and many others, let me know. I think November would be a good time to do it. Wish me luck when I need it the most tonight, I know when to fold em', but I have to get past 7th place like two years ago into the top three.

Quick Family Update

Lincoln had an appointment today with sedation and methotrexate. Tonight he starts a week of steroids that he had during the first month and one time in between now and then. It can be pretty intense with steroids and there are many side effects and emotional ups and downs. Right now he has a rash that is a side effect from the chemo and the sun that finally started to shine this year. Please keep praying this week that he doesn't spike a fever. Jenny's birthday was yesterday and she had a few friends, her parents and my mom here. Emma was excited to stay home from school with Grandma today too. I have still been very busy working up to 73 hours a week and have not had much time to do anything but rest up for the next day. I am looking forward to Memorial Day, a day of rest and time with the family. The month of May is Brain cancer and Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month, please pray for kids that suffer. That's all for now, keep watching for Lincoln's updates on his page @ http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pray-for-Lincoln-Daniel-Jones/175763489154439 and LIKE my new page @ http://www.facebook.com/#!/briansphirstblog