Kicking the Bucket List

Everyday I hear people talking about what they want to do in life and today I read a blog about a young lady who had a 'bucket list' that she wants to fulfill. I have heard people talk about their bucket list before, you know, the things they want to do before they 'kick the bucket,' so I began to indulge myself in thoughts of what I wanted to do for myself before I die, until I realized...

I don't think I can truly make a bucket list. I am sure you can imagine these things on my list like, riding in a hot air balloon, traveling to all of the states and a few other countries, finish high school...haha,

or winning a huge charity poker tournament. Did you know that "A common theory is that the idiom (kick the bucket) comes from a method of execution such as hanging, or perhaps suicide, in the middle ages? A noose is tied around the neck while standing on an overturned bucket. When the pail is kicked away, the victim is hanged. Now why would I want to go on living a self indulgent life trying to collect all of the foolish things that I will never be able to take to my grave? No one ever eulogized a persons possession or all of the vacations they went on or the tons of money they made did they?

Right now in my life...the one that I live to the fullest everyday, where I go to work to make money, and then I come home and try to make an impact on the world...I don't have time for the luxury of making a bucket list because I am Living like I am going to die! Instead of working on a your suicidal bucket list, why not try working on turning your Obituary into front page news! Let your Eulogies be spoken by Kings and Presidents, and songs be written about you by Mega Superstars! Who needs a bucket list to get in the way of your list of children you can save from cancer because you gave up your vacations to volunteer in raising awareness every September!  These are the kinds of things that you can never be rewarded for by just living life and then kicking the bucket, but they are things that will leave a legacy for you and will last beyond the grave. I watch kids fighting for life Everyday do it, so what is the Story of Your Life?

LINCOLN'S UPDATE

Last night we were getting ready to watch some fireworks outside when Lincoln started sneezing over and over. For any normal child this might just look like allergies but for our son with leukemia, it could mean life or death. We started by taking his temperature every 20 minutes until it reached that dreaded number. With most children a temperature of 104 would just require Tylenol to keep them cool, but for a boy with cancer 100.4 means a trip to the emergency room. Because the chemotherapy wipes out his immune system he has no way to fight the common cold and it could turn into something worse if not treated immediately with antibiotics. My wife Jenny and her mom drove him 40 miles to Portland where he fell asleep in the ER waiting to find out if he was to be admitted to the hospital. By midnight we knew he was going to spend the rest of the weekend there or until his counts were high enough to fight off any infections. This morning when I woke up and knew they were going to be admitted, I called work only to find out the the job I had for the day had to be rescheduled at the last second. Not only that, but I didn't have a job scheduled for Friday. The weather is great right now for working outside, but I am glad to be with my son in with air conditioned hospital while he starts to feel better. Right now his temperature has gone down and he is on fluids but he has a ton of toys to play with and movies to watch as we stay behind closed doors for now.

Follow Lincoln's journey and Like and Share his page @ http://www.facebook.com/#!/prayingforlincoln

Avalanche Anxiety

Today is the 4th of July, one year after my son was diagnosed with leukemia and we are sitting here a little bit anxious because his temperature is rising. Last check was 100.2 which means that if he gets to 100.4 we are headed to the ER in Portland. One year ago we were preparing to go on a weekend trip to the coast to see my parents, but we took our bags that were already packed and went to the children's hospital where my son was diagnosed and admitted for the next 6 days. Now we feel like an American Soldier who is waiting for that call to go to war, but this wouldn't be our first time. We are so close to the next big phase of Lincoln's treatment and we don't want anything to get in the way. I know many families go through the steps that doctors have given them on their journey to recovery, and then as they are traveling the path and avalanche wipes them off of the trail and they have to start all over again.

I'm just going to say it "this is not supposed to happen to our son," but with cancer this just falls on deaf ears. Cancer does not discriminate and fights back even when you think it has taken its final blow. Now we wait 30 minutes at a time and hope the temperature has peaked and he stabilizes for now.

UPDATE: Lincoln was just taken to the ER for a temperature of 101.3. If his blood counts are too low to fight infection, he will get antibiotics or if it looks more serious he may need blood and have to be admitted to stay the night. Keep Praying!

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Fire and the Fight

Last year on Independence day we were watching the fireworks with our son from the one place we never expected to be, the hospital. My son Lincoln was diagnosed with A.L.L. (leukemia) on July 1st and we were in the oncology unit at Doernbecher's children's hospital (OHSU) in Portland, OR. The hospital is way up high above the city and there is a sky bridge where you can see a lot of Portland from. The fireworks were a little harder to see, but once in awhile you could see someone shoot up one of the big illegal ones from their house. Needless to say, it wasn't the most impressive show I have ever seen, but for a two year old, it was exciting.

Independence day is a day to celebrate freedom, the freedom that we enjoy that came at the cost of other people's lives. Everyday our country fights for this freedom but we don't always recognize the price that someone else paid for us. When my son was diagnosed with cancer we felt like our freedom was taken away and we were the ones paying the price. During this last year we realized that we were not the only ones losing our freedoms, but that thousands of other children have paid the ultimate price in the battle against cancer. When I started seeing how many kids were fighting cancer on the internet it was like a big fireworks show that started exploding in the night sky. Now whenever I watch the big fireworks shows I will remember that kids everywhere are fighting, just to be free from cancer.

Here is my poem and a picture I took, feel free to share it anywhere, and just like those who fought for our freedoms, remember kids fighting for their own lives this 4th of July.

Fire fighting Kids http://www.facebook.com/#!/redcarpetkidsforthecure

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To Be or to Believe

Today I was just doing the same old thing at work, digging holes for fence posts. It is a hard physical, mindless activity but that usually gives me a chance to start thinking about what I can write. I was getting really bored of my job and thinking about what else I could be doing and then I started to think about tattoos for some reason. It was like a dream that changes without warning, but then I put two and two together. I don't have a tattoo and I have never had the desire to get one but I know a lot of people who get them for various reasons. Tattoos are a permanent peice of artwork that usually have a significant meaning to the individual, for example my brother had his late sons face tattooed on his arm. It is what I call an outward appearance of an inward meaning. Maybe not all tattoos are like that but its a great example of how people try to display who they are inside without speaking or acting out.

As I was digging holes today my inner wisdom spoke out to me, "Be who you were made to be. If your outward appearance reflects who you are inside then Believe it, if not make changes. Believe who God made you to be, nothing more nothing less."

Everyone has the desire and need to Be someone or something, but so many people who try to Become what they are displaying are not Believing that is truly what they were made to be. Its like tattoos or piercings or stretching their earlobes beyond belief. Don't you think in 30 years those people will wonder why they did those things to their bodies? Maybe not all, and that's ok, but I have my suspicions.

What would you say is your outward appearance at this point in your life? Now just ask yourself truthfully: do I Believe this is who I am to Be?