Life has not been easy this year but there is one thing that has helped us make it through the last 11 1/2 months with our son Lincoln. Everyday I hear people say things like "I wish I had this, or I can't wait to be able to afford that. In "The American Dream" it is very natural to wish for and want things but the only dream we know is the one where we are just trying to keep our heads above water. The treatments that our son receives for his leukemia have a lot more side effects than the ones that the drugs do to him, and they affect more in our family than just him. Our relationships with our daughter and each other have been affected. Our jobs have been affected and income has been affected. Even spiritually we have been affected, but to say our lifestyles have been affected it an understatement since there really is nothing left that we can even consider an American Dream. Its not because we don't have money because we aren't in poverty, and its not because we don't have time because we spend it all with our son, at home, keeping him safe from getting sick when his immune counts plummet from chemotherapy.
As I was growing up, I was always right next to the kids that seemed to have everything and I could never touch it. I just wanted a taste of the good life because I knew I could never have it and honestly I don't think I could handle it if I got my hands on it. I guess I got used to not having it all and now that my dream has taken a back seat I think I have found myself happier by not wanting what everybody else wants. The only thing I want it to be able to continue to do is to fight the battle for my son. The hard part now is that there is still a fight that I need to fight for the rest of my life even in my marriage and my job and right now it feels like there are too many irons in the fire. So what do I do when all I have left in my life is to fight? Listen to my song and remember to Hold on, Ready or Not, You Live for the Fight when that's All that You've Got.